The Bake Sale
by A Heart For My Nobody
Summary: After many failed attempts at beating Sora, the Organization tries a new method to lure the Keyblade Master in... Hosting a bake-sale! Pairing: Axel/Roxas, Demyx/Vexen, Xigbar/Larxene, Saix/Xemnas, Marluxia/Zexion, Luxord/Lexaeus/Xaldin. BAKING/MILKSHAKES


Capture Sora. A simple order. A novel concept. But so frickin' difficult to succeed at! Each and every member had their opportunity to try and take the kid on themselves. Each and every member got a chance to be beaten by a little boy. By a little boy who makes friendship speeches, dresses in bright colors, and has a duck and a dog-thing among his best friends, in fact. It was getting pretty pathetic that an Organization of thirteen grown men couldn't beat a little kid with a key… even if one of those men was a fourteen year old boy and another was a girl. Finally, after many successive failed attempts, the leader of these thirteen nobodies decided that 'if we can't take the boy by force, we will have to use other methods…'

After a long stretch of his arms, Xemnas slowly opened his mouth to speak out his new order. The rest of the members waited patiently.

"Upon much deliberation…" Xemnas started, "…and after much research on Sora's behavior was thoroughly evaluated…" Vexen took the pause in Xemnas's words as an opportunity to smirk at his own scientific achievement, "…I have decided to take a different course to lure Sora into our grasp…" The rest of the Organization watched, trying to keep their patience as their leader took another long pause. "We shall host…" Xemnas continued as suspense rose, "…a bake-sale."

It was after those words that the Organization was put to its toughest mission yet: managing to successfully bake food for a bake-sale. Original attempts failed miserably as many members decided to team up with only other specific nobodies that they were more 'able to get along with'. Poisoned apple pies shriveled and turned green, cookies made with strange nuts found in wonderland resulted in a sort of 'Hunny, I shrunk the Organization' situation, Lexaeus's cake would have caused anyone with a heart to go into cardiac arrest, and the pies made with Halloween Town pumpkins created some interesting haunted pies. It took nearly a week to convince Demyx to go back into the kitchen after that last one.

"Alright!" Vexen exclaimed at the Organization meeting, "I have concocted a potion that will surely make the best cookies that anyone has ever tasted!"

"No…" Xemnas disagrees much to Vexen's demise, "There have been too many mistakes already. It appears that each of us is individually incapable of producing these… baked goods…" Nobody bothered to point out that Xemnas hadn't tried as he takes a moment to gesture around at the group, "This next time… We shall go together…"

The Organization now found themselves all in the kitchen together. They were expected to successfully work together to produce a diversity of scrumptious baked goods. Tension rose as each member contemplated exactly how this was going to work. Xemnas made it his duty to overlook the project from the center of the room. Avoiding the Superior's eyes, Vexen snuck a potion underneath his long sleeve. Demyx desperately skimmed a batch of cue cards with recipes written on them. Lexaeus lifted a pumpkin, this time found in a vegetable patch near a rather small house, with just the palm of one of his hands.

"Alright…" Xemnas prepared, "…You may begin."

As though it were a race, each member jumped to their task immediately. Lexaeus smashed the pumpkin between his two hands over a large mixing bowl, and proceeded to do the same with several more. Marluxia swept across the room, adding sugar and spices to anything that needed it. Roxas joined Lexaeus by mixing the pumpkin into something that may conceivably be of use… using his Keyblade of course. Xaldin stood at one side of the room reciting a recipe, while Zexion recited a different one at the other side. Axel just leaned back and decided to wait until someone was in need of cooking something.

"Dude," Xigbar considers as he grabs a bag of chocolate chips, "My chocolate milkshakes really will bring all the boys to the—" Xigbar was interrupted by Larxene's boot to his face.

"I was gonna use those!" Larxene snapped, catching the bag as it fell from the air, "For the cookies."

Saix approached Axel, who greeted him with raised eyebrows.

"You don't plan on standing there all day, do you Axel?" Saix sneered.

"I don't see you doing too much yourself, Saix." Axel grinned, "How about I bake you into a nice cake and solve both of these problems? I think you'd look superb in a nice blue icing."

Luxord, overhearing the conversation, decided to chime in, "Don't squander your time, comrades. The Superior wants to have this bake-sale by tomorrow. I would hate to see you be the one that—" Pumpkin was then flicked sharply into Luxord's eyes. With a gasp, and a gritty noise indicating pain, Luxord wiped the pumpkin from his face with his sleeve. Half expecting it to have been retaliation from Axel, Luxord was surprised to find that it was simply excess pumpkin flying off of Lexaeus's arms, which were now completely covered in it.

"Watch it, Lex!" Luxord protested, "It would be a shame if I ended up like Xigbar with his eye-patch."

"As if…" Xigbar mumbled as he sat on the ceiling with his bag of chocolate chips. He then dodged an angry lightning bolt from Larxene.

"Well," Luxord continued, "An eye for an eye, I suppose." The gambler tossed a mixture of baking powder, sugar, and salt that he had been working on directly at Lexaeus's face. The giant's arms blocked the attack, and the powdery mixture combined with the pumpkin on his sleeves. Luxord stepped forward to taste mixture by dragging his tongue up the sleeve.

"There," Luxord said, satisfied, "You taste a lot better now."

"You play a dangerous game, Luxord." Lexaeus appeared to grow taller as he leaned over the gambler.

"Ah, it's but a game of chance, my friend." Luxord made no attempt to back off and stood firm.

"With my strength, it's hardly luck… friend." The giant grabbed Luxord and lifted him into the air.

"Ah, but with my wit, we are balanced again." Luxord managed to slide out of the grasp and around to Lexaeus's back, wrestling him to the ground.

Meanwhile, Roxas wiped the stray powder from his face with annoyance. He decided to move the batter that he was still mixing away from the wrestling men in some hope to keep it safe. Roxas stopped short as Demyx raced by him, nearly knocking the batter out of the boy's hands. Ignorant of Roxas's glare, Demyx ran straight to Vexen, who was looming suspiciously over a bowl.

"Vexen!" Demyx cried, causing Vexen to jump and almost drop an object that he quickly hid from Demyx's view.

"What do _you_ want?" Vexen snarled.

"Have you seen recipe card number three?" The mulleted man asked in desperation, "I lost it and I think I may have dropped it in one of the mixing bowls!"

"No!" Vexen replied impatiently, "I have not seen your foolish flash cards. Now get out of here before you—"

"Let me check!" Demyx squealed as he pulled Vexen away from the bowl. Before the scientist could do anything to stop it, the potion that he had been discreetly pouring into the mix was now flying through the air. It hit Demyx in the head with a crash.

"Owwww! Ow ow ow!" Demyx complained, and then froze with a strange look on his face, "Vexen?" his expression looked vacant, "What does this stuff do?"

"Uh… I-it…" Vexen stumbled, still processing the situation, "It imitates the emotions of love and…" he choked, "…pleasure."

Demyx sat for moment as Vexen fearfully anticipated what he knew would happen next. After just a moment, Demyx had crawled across the floor and climbed Vexen's leg with both his hands, which were now resting on the scientist's thigh.

"You feel pretty nice, Vexen." Demyx sighed with an awkward smile. As Demyx's hands crept upward, Vexen gazed upon him with a looked of confused disgust and a hint of interest.

"What a unique effect," Vexen evaluated, "I wonder what it would do to someone with a heart— Oh!" Vexen cringed as Demyx's hands groped his inner thigh.

"You're warm," Demyx said with an even goofier smile.

Xigbar stumbled backward, barely dodging a flying knife that was courtesy of Larxene. He managed to hold onto the chocolate chip bag until he tripped over the leg of Luxord, who had now succeeded in wrestling the upper half of Lexaeus's cloak off, trapping his arms in place. The bag of chips flew conveniently to Larxene who now wore a gloating smirk and let loose a giggle.

"Time to make some cookies then… _Dude_." She said mockingly. Suddenly, Xigbar came running at Larxene with full speed.

"As IF!" He yelled. All time felt like it had stopped. Xigbar just full fledgedly attacked a woman. No, he thought, he should be proud. He just attacked a psychopath… and won. His eyes were shut, but he could feel that he was victorious. He now grasped in his hand that that he had been fighting so hard for: a bag of chocolate chips… or were they marshmallows…? And why were there two?

Feeling his non-existent heart stop, Xigbar opened his eyes to see a bag of chocolate chips held, not in his own hand, but in Larxene's off to the side, which was now gripping it very hard. His eyes slowly turned to Larxene's furious face, and he didn't have to move his gaze much lower to know exactly what it was that he had grabbed. Lightning jolted through Larxene's eyes as she gritted her teeth. The bag of chocolate chips fell to the floor, and Larxene's hand lowered as well, but not to her side. Her hand was now between Xigbar's legs, and in just a moment, she had his tender places in a vice grip.

"So that's how you want to play, huh? Xigbar?" Larxene sneered, "Let's have some fun then!" Xigbar released a silent scream as he was muffled by the blonde's lips.

Having been grazed by a lightning bolt and hit in the head with a bag of chocolate chips, Roxas grudgingly finished stirring the mix.

"At least we'll have a pie…" he thought to himself. He then stopped to listen for the next ingredient to be spoken by Zexion, but nothing came. He rolled his eyes and glanced over to were Zexion stood. Much to his surprise and disgust, Marluxia was hanging over Zexion with one hand in the schemer's cloak.

"I know it was a mistake, Zexion," Marluxia whispered, "Leaving you out of my plans… you were always smarter than the others… but I can make it worth your while if you give me a second chance."

"A second chance to do what," Zexion flinched as he felt Marluxia's hand traveling downward, "To be you're pawn? To be… ngh… underneath you?"

"To be by my side for the blooming of a new Superior," Marluxia breathed into Zexion's ear, grasping him hard and taking in the gasps that the schemer was trying so hard to hide, "A flower is nothing without it's stem. I may be on top, but that doesn't mean that you won't have any fun. Do you get my drift?" Marluxia pressed down on Zexion, bringing him to his knees. The cloaked schemer released an exasperated groan.

Another groan came from the side as Demyx was having his way with Vexen underneath his cloak.

"You taste better then the cookies," Demyx swallowed as he pulled back from the scientist. Vexen was now completely overwhelmed. Perhaps he could have prevented this earlier, but now he was vexed and entranced. All he could do was gasp and release a long moan as Demyx moved up his body, introducing young hands to his skin.

Luxord now realized the flaw in his game. There was no using his wits to get out of this. At first, it seemed evenly matched, but when it really comes down to it, this sort of thing only depends on your brute strength, and in that respect he was no match for Lexaeus. He had always relied on luck during his games of chance, and luck was generally on his side. He had never been overpowered before, at least not like this. Xaldin had joined the fight on his side in an attempt to balance it out, but now both himself and his ally were taking turns facing the full force of Lexaeus. It hurt, he thought, but he wasn't sure how much of that hurt was his ego. He found himself lying on his back, listening to the pleasured moans of many of his colleagues around him. The most evident was Lexaeus, roaring like a behemoth above him, as he was powerless to stop it. Strangely, he didn't feel as though he wanted it to stop, and it looked like Xaldin didn't either.

Larxene had now pinned Xigbar to the wall by his cloak using her knives. Both Xigbar's cloak and her own were now undone and Xigbar was drenched in his own milkshake… courtesy of Larxene. The grinning girl ran a fingernail up Xigbar's body as she lapped up some of the shake. Xigbar was faded and groaned without even looking up at the dominant one

"Not even a wince at the pain?" Larxene laughed, "Don't tell me you're tired already?" She pressed her body into his and cupped his chin in her hand. She bent her wrist to press against the man's throat as she leaned into his lips. "You disappoint me, Xiggy." She drew back, pulling his waist with her. "Oh well… even if you're all worn out. I've only just begun!"

"Hmmm…" Xemnas said, inspecting the rest of the numbers, "This is interesting. What is this that makes them believe that they can… feel?"

"It's odd, Superior." Saix agrees, "But I've felt it before. I have actually _felt_ it."

"Is that so?" Xemnas pauses, "Saix… I want you to make me… feel."

"Heh…" Saix shuts his eyes and grins, "You have no idea how long I've been waiting for you to say that!" In a single movement, Saix had lost the top part of his cloak. In just another, he had done the same for his Superior… no, right now… Saix was going to be the Superior.

At this point, Roxas KNEW he was the only one doing any work. He didn't, however, know why he was bothering. A bake-sale was a stupid idea anyway. Even still, Roxas moved toward the oven with his creation.

"What's cookin'?" Axel inquired, standing in Roxas's path. "Mind if I do the honors?"

"You'll probably just burn it." Roxas scoffed as he brushed past Axel and stuck his work into the oven. He turned around only to be met with Axel's lips against his own. He quickly pulled away to the side and wiped his mouth off with his sleeve.

"What the hell!?" He protested, flailing his arms.

"Come on, Roxas," Axel said in an almost disappointed voice, "Everyone's doing it." He gestured around the room at the Organization. Roxas took a look at the man-handling Goliath and his two playmates, the psychopath and her toy, the drugged up goof and the back-fired scientist, the flower man and his manipulated schemer, even the Superior and his steadfast bodyguard. He listened to their moans and groans of pleasure, and their gasps of relief.

Roxas knew that what he felt was mostly disgust, but he liked Axel, and it was now obvious that Axel liked him. He didn't really know what was happening, he didn't know why, and he DID know that he didn't condone it, but he began to forget that the others were there as his eyes turned to face the emerald greens of his best friend. His focus now turned to the hand that was outstretched towards him. Axel grinned and moved his hand a little bit further out, making it easier for Roxas.

"Come on," the fiery man said again, "I'll show you the ropes."

Roxas let a laugh escape past his scowl. A laugh that would only ever come out for Axel. He looked up into the green eyes with a grin and took Axel's hand. "What are you…?" He started, "An expert?"

The next day the Organization set up a bake-sale right on time. Sora and all his friends showed up. As Luxord, Xaldin, and Lexaeus closed the inviting gates of the castle behind their guests, Sora chugged a glass of chocolate milkshake and took a bite from a cookie.

"Wow!" He exclaimed as Roxas winced at the consumption, "These are really really good! How'd you make 'em?" The Organization members paused in consideration.

"With love, my little toy." Larxene finally responded with a sinister grin, "Lots and lots of love."

THE END


End file.
